do any of you guys like to cook?

i do. so here's a food thread/recipe share.

hosebeast's spaghett - serves 4

1 box angel hair pasta
2 cans peeled tomatoes, or about 20 roma tomatoes that you'll have to peel yourself
5-6 cloves garlic (minced or through a press)
6 fresh basil leaves, chopped
1 tablespoon dried oregano
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic
pinch of sugar
butter
salt/pepper

first, you'll have to de-seed the tomatoes. i've made this dish without doing it and it's really annoying picking the seeds out of your teeth all after every bite, not to mention the amount of water that seeds contain. just cut them in half and dig them out with your finger.
heat the oil in a saucepan until hot then add the garlic. after it's tanned, add the tomatoes. give them a healthy coathing of salt and pepper. let them heat up, on about 3/4 heat, stirring often, for about 30 minutes. after they start to break down, use a potato smasher to squish them into a sauce, leaving the heat on. be careful here, because hot tomato acid doesn't feel good when it shoots onto yr skin at high speeds. add the balsamic, sugar and the basil that you chopped up because i don't need to tell you to chop herbs before using them in a sauce. stir it up, then continue to let it cook for an additional 15-20 minutes on 3/4 heat. while the sauce is cooking, make the spaghetti. after it's done, toss it into a heated pan with about a half tablespoon of butter, add 1/4 of the sauce and toss it together like fucking crazy. furiously scrape the fork all over it, shake the pan etc, adding another half tablespoon of butter and continuing the furious stirring. if you ARE making it for a date, don't be a lazy fuck, use some kind of mold like a coffee cup or some shit to plate it so it doesn't look all sloppy. finish it off with some fresh parm, and a little basil and it's done.

the beauty of this recipe lies in its simplicity. i wanted to do it because of my recent interest in home made sauces, and the annoyance that comes with simmering a marinara for 30 hours before you eat it. it's easy, extremely cheap, pretty, fresh and is almost guaranteed to get you laid. it's also vegan if you substitute extra olive oil or margarine instead of butter, but you lose the awesome richness that butter gives you. you get a lot of the tomato, and it's not just a soaked-in-crap pasta that your parents make. GRIP IT!

bosebeast nutters

1 cup peanutbutter
1 cup sugar
1 large egg

whisk the egg and the sugar until well combined. use a rubber spatula to mix the peanutbutter into the egg/sugar mixture, as to not waste 1/4 of it in a whisk. mix until the mixture reaches a wet sand consistency, then spoon them onto a lubricated cookie sheet at whatever side you like. use a fork to press down on each ball of dough in opposite directions

like this:



before placing them into a 400 degree oven for NO LONGER THAN 5-7 MINUTES. remove them from the oven, and they'll be extremely doughy. DON'T TOUCH THEM, TURD. leave the oven on, with the door open, and leave the cookie sheet on top of the oven for at least 10 minutes. they'll continue to cook, indirectly, while remaining soft and chewy. if you want even more richness and deliciousness, add 3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips to the dough. either way, these are great.

this is a really easy recipe that's great for a quick, cheap snack that you can make yourself.

SHIT:

hrrrr

Hosebeast pizza time:



1. Microwave
2. Don't cut
3. Don't share

I made some killer A1 Angus beef burgers. I'd tell you the recipe BUT IT'S A SECRET.

Eh...just add 2 tbsp per lb of beef. Whatevz.

brummy's chicken fried rice:

debating on whether or not i should stop eating meat. to weigh the pros and cons, i made steak.

alton brown method:

-rib eye steaks or New York strip steaks, 1 1/2-inch thick
-canola oil, to coat
-kosher salt & fresh ground pepper

Remove steak(s) from fridge and start bringing them to room temperature. After 30 to 45 minutes, place a 10 to 12-inch cast iron skillet in oven and heat oven to 500 degrees F. When oven reaches temperature, remove the pan and place it on a burner over high heat. Coat steak(s) lightly with oil and season both sides with a generous pinch of salt. Grind on black pepper to taste. Immediately place steak(s) in the middle of the hot, dry pan. Cook 30 seconds without moving. Turn the steak(s) with tongs and cook another 30 seconds, then put the pan straight into the oven for no more than 2 minutes. Flip steak(s) and cook for another 2 minutes. (The time in the oven depends on how rare you like your steaks. The time given is for medium/medium rare, but depends on number of steaks, etc. as well.) Remove the steak(s) from the pan, cover loosely with foil, and rest for 5 minutes.

i made them individually, as you don't have to worry about the times getting all fucked up because there's more mass in the oven. don't douce them in steak sauce, hillbilly. they're perfect like this. a nice, crispy crust, salty exterior, and perfectly juicy center. flawless.

LOOK AT THAT CRUST - FUCK A GRILL:

(sorry for the shitty picture. lost the batteries for my camera so i had to use my phone)


i also made a sweet potato recipe that i've been doing for years. this is also vegan, delicious, and pretty. another dish that'll get you laid if you play your cards right.

2 large sweet potatos
1 bunch each thyme, parsley, oregano
5 basil leaves
1 T minced garlic, or about 2-3 cloves fresh garlic, minced
3 T olive oil
2 t sesame oil
salt/pepper to taste.

first, you have to do the prep. peel the sweet potatoes, then cube them into small, edible chunks. this is kind of annoying, as it takes more effort and energy than normal potatoes, but it's worth it. de-stem the herbs, and go over them, closely, ONE TIME with your knife. you want to chop them, not crush them. for the herbs, you want a fine, light mass as opposed to a dense paste.

heat the olive oil in a large skillet on medium heat. add the garlic, and when it's tanned, add the potatoes. it takes a lot of attention for these things not to stick, so stick around the kitchen. add a liberal amount of salt and pepper. these things are somewhat bitter, so it's hard to use TOO MUCH. after they've cooked for about 15-20 minutes in the oil and garlic, add the herbs that you chopped. stir it well, scraping the bottom of the pan. if necessary, clear the potatoes into a circle, exposing the middle of the pan, so you can add more oil. i had to do this, so i see no way around it. ANYWAY, continue cooking for about 5 minutes, then add the sesame oil and stir the potatoes once again. all the stirring is to make sure all of them are well coated. continue cooking for another 5-8 minutes so the potatoes achieve that nice crispiness. after a total cooking time of about 25-30 minutes, remove them from heat and they're finished. garnish with roasted sesame seeds(also give them a little texture), and serve with whatever.

this dish is extremely easy, and you can do pretty much anything with it. this was sort of an asian take, as the sesame oil really shined through. the herbs were really present from front to back as well, so it could be an italian and asian hybrid dish? either way, it's a great tasting, healthy starch that goes great with just about anything. it goes especially well with grilled chicken.





i didn't take a picture of them plated together, but this meal rules. throw in some steamed broccoli with garlic, lemon and parmesan, and you're guaranteed an insta-suckjam from the girl that you involve yourself with. or, you can br proud of yourself and whack off to an irrelevant tv show that everyone besides you is already over watching BECAUSE. THAT'S. THE. WAY. THINGS. WORK.

people post recipes/pics. stop being wieners.

shanholtzer wrote:Hosebeast pizza time:



1. Microwave
2. Don't cut
3. Don't share

fuck the supreme, bell peppers are disgusting. pepperoni, only. also, one of those is equal to maybe 2 slices of actual pizza, so you're definitely right that i would probably just be mad if somebody asked me for a piece of a party pizza.

post something, you fucking juggalo. i know you pretend like you can cook or whatever, at least put on a front for us, jesus.

actually, do you know any vegan recipes that are actually good? i've found that a few things i've been making lately are completely vegan, but only that spaghett that i posted is an entire meal. jacob to thread, did you punk out, or are you still doing this? i've been thinking about it a lot lately, and i have a ton of reasons to stop eating animal product. my dad's family has a huge percentage of deaths from stomach diseases. my dad has a terrible case of crones, so does his brother. his grandparents both died of stomach cancer, my mom's family, every single one of them besides my mom and her sister, all of them have diabetes. i could go on with this, but those are my biggest concerns. help me guise, help me with my decision.

i really like cheese and milk and shit, though. this is hard. also, lunchmeat, burgers and chicken nuggets. i will miss them dearly.

Milenko's spicy curry peanut putter rice and beans:

In a deep sauce pan heat 1 cup of olive oil on med-high heat. Add black pepper, your choice of hot sauce, curry powder, cilantro, soy sauce. Add spoonfuls of peanut butter until satisfied with the consistency. It shouldn't be too thick but not soupy. Stir constantly, don't burn the shit. For a thicker sauce add 1/2 cup of soy / rice / almond milk.

You know how to make rice, so do that and through in some black beans, garbanzos, peas, and whatever the fuck else.

Mix the shit together and eat it. If it looks like diarrhea than you have completed this vague recipe correctly.

hosebeast wrote:actually, do you know any vegan recipes that are actually good? i've found that a few things i've been making lately are completely vegan, but only that spaghett that i posted is an entire meal. jacob to thread, did you punk out, or are you still doing this? i've been thinking about it a lot lately, and i have a ton of reasons to stop eating animal product. my dad's family has a huge percentage of deaths from stomach diseases. my dad has a terrible case of crones, so does his brother. his grandparents both died of stomach cancer, my mom's family, every single one of them besides my mom and her sister, all of them have diabetes. i could go on with this, but those are my biggest concerns. help me guise, help me with my decision.

i really like cheese and milk and shit, though. this is hard. also, lunchmeat, burgers and chicken nuggets. i will miss them dearly.

I went a few years of eating no meat, no I eat practically anything with two legs, no 4 legged animals for this guy. I may have accidentally ate pepperoni once or twice in between due to it's hiding out in a dish I ate without thinking of what could be in it. I gotta tell you, I'm healthier now than I've ever been. Most people would say "Ohh you can't go without eating red meat".. or "You'll get sick from removing that from your diet"

BULLSHIT

Don't buy into it. Just do it. It's not going to hurt to try.

I've had no desire to eat beef (besides the accidental pepperoni) in years. That shit is not something I'd enjoy having in my stomach digesting for days.

I'm a meat cutter, and not once has the thought crossed my mind "Man, this bloody steak sure looks appealing."

Give it a try dude, I won't judge you.

I enjoy cooking, but I don't have anything original. I've got several cookbooks, and occasionally I'll improvise. But I pretty much stick to what the author (usually Alton Brown) tells me to do. I've got some family recipes as well...but, well, those are family recipes. SO FUCK YOU!

pete - love alton brown. post some recipes! i use his methods with a lot of stuff, and he's my main reason for liking to cook. his approach is scientific and interesting, as opposed to some skank using ranch dressing on a piece of chicken.

jeremy - do you still eat fowl? thinking about it right this second, meat isn't something that i'd miss too terribly. that'll probably change, bu as of right now, i'm prepared for a lifetime of side dishes. thanks for the encouragement, man. i know that removing it from your diet being a BAD thing, and making you sick -all that bullshit is just that, bullshit. i wish i could go full-on vegan, because i know that dairy is the real asshole, but i know that i can't do that.

man is at the top of the food chain for a reason. vegans are overly-conscious pussies that like to live in a a fantasy world where they're actually doing the world a favor by not consuming animal products that were so graciously slaughtered for our benefit, but in reality they're just being worthless little bitches that deny their rightful place in the world. i mean, why bother eating fucking vegetables when you have the capacity to eat raw fucking meat? they're a bunch of faggots if you ask me. if yr gonna go vegan, you might as well get a vasectomy as well.

i can't tell if you're being serious, but if you are please get the fuck out of my thread.

hosebeast wrote:i can't tell if you're being serious, but if you are please get the fuck out of my thread.

what do you think?



and the internets are free, stop trying to be a fascist

i could see you legitimately saying and meaning all of those things, eric.

i could see you legitimately saying and meaning all of those things, eric.

you really know me well, then.

I've made a cheesecake that I tweak everytime I make it by adding in a little extra stuff...sometime fruit...sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. I don't have the recipe with me now though, since I'm at work, but it's in Alton's first cookbook.

Tonight I'm going to go with his Halloween candy recipes that were on his new episode last night. Atomic Candy Apples, Popcorn Balls, and Candy Corn. I hate candy corn, but he said that his doesn't taste like wax, so I'm pretty pumped on making those. I'll post pics/recipe later when I'm finished with em.

jeremy plz come answer my post from the first page.

anyone else who is vegan/vegitarian, i would really appreciate your input as well. i've more or less made the situation to stop eating meat, as soon as it's all gone from my house. no sense in wasting food! but yeah, i'd just like to know what you guys eat as the sort of "main dish" in a given meal. it may seem ignorant, but i don't know how long i'll be able to hack it just eating side dishes constantly.

also, pete, post pics!

hosebeast wrote:jeremy plz come answer my post from the first page.

anyone else who is vegan/vegitarian, i would really appreciate your input as well. i've more or less made the situation to stop eating meat, as soon as it's all gone from my house. no sense in wasting food! but yeah, i'd just like to know what you guys eat as the sort of "main dish" in a given meal. it may seem ignorant, but i don't know how long i'll be able to hack it just eating side dishes constantly.

i'll post something when I get up in a few hours on this topic, i've been up since 7am, and it's 2:30am now. I would make no sense. so...

PFL!

hosebeast wrote:

jeremy - do you still eat fowl? thinking about it right this second, meat isn't something that i'd miss too terribly. that'll probably change, bu as of right now, i'm prepared for a lifetime of side dishes. thanks for the encouragement, man. i know that removing it from your diet being a BAD thing, and making you sick -all that bullshit is just that, bullshit. i wish i could go full-on vegan, because i know that dairy is the real asshole, but i know that i can't do that.

sorry dude, I missed that one.

Chicken is like a must have for me on a daily basis. It's actually kind of ridiculous when it comes to how much chicken I eat haha.

If you can manage going the first two weeks without red meat, then there's no reason why you couldn't go forever without it. That's the hard part, especially when you have family members or friends that constantly try to cook steak for you. My own mother still has a hard time remembering that I don't eat the shit. hahah everytime I go to her house for dinner it's like "Hey Jeremy want me to make you a steak".... "No mom, I haven't eaten steak since my senior year of high school, but thanks!"



If you can make it the first two weeks, then you'll be fine, it's definitely the hardest part. After that it's really easy to resist the temptations..



Jacob: wouldn't you agree?

i'm confident in my ability to not eat red meat, there's no grey area there. it just comes down to all other meats when thinking about how to properly execute this.